Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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