New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
