And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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