Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
