your parents love me but you hate me
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
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