Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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