Do vagina's smell?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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