So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
