You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
