At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
