Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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