So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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