What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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