it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
