I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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