I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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