I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
