i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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