Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
