On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
