Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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