I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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