This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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