escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize