my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
