No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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