I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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