Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
