I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
