Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
