i think i have herpe
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying