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• (512): View more from Texas

  I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.

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• (469): View more from Texas

  Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him

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• (817): View more from Texas

  did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.

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• (310): View more from California

  He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill

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