Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

dude, osama threatened the US again

(1-847): View more from Illinois

dude. i slept with your sister last night

(847): View more from Illinois

what?

(1-847): View more from Illinois

I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news

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(847): dude, osama threatened the US again (1-847): dude. i slept with your sister last night (847): what? (1-847) I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news http://tfl.nu/r4dc

Replies (26) Good night (5266) Bad night (764)
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(607): View more from New York

Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.

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(607): Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day. http://tfl.nu/b0xj

Replies (29) Good night (34054) Bad night (1277)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party

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(847): Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party http://tfl.nu/77aw

Replies (15) Good night (6794) Bad night (625)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?

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(412): do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister? http://tfl.nu/on91

Replies (50) Good night (3362) Bad night (790)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.

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(250): I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you. http://tfl.nu/p3o8

Replies (15) Good night (9541) Bad night (997)
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(707): View more from California

its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me

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(707): its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me http://tfl.nu/kg6n

Replies (11) Good night (1862) Bad night (3314)
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(512): View more from Texas

I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.

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(512): I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different. http://tfl.nu/tob0

Replies (11) Good night (4848) Bad night (1399)
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(207): View more from Maine

I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.

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(207): I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee. http://tfl.nu/4bjn

Replies (18) Good night (4770) Bad night (1170)
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(954): View more from Florida

My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him

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(954): My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him http://tfl.nu/f43y

Replies (19) Good night (1503) Bad night (3183)
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(714): View more from California

Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww

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(714): Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww http://tfl.nu/e98y

Replies (13) Good night (3854) Bad night (1293)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.

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(910): I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/hxzm

Replies (3) Good night (1743) Bad night (717)
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(586): View more from Michigan

I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.

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(586): I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life. http://tfl.nu/7ulw

Replies (15) Good night (892) Bad night (2844)
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(813): View more from Florida

My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars

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(813): My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars http://tfl.nu/ok6n

Replies (3) Good night (2197) Bad night (669)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.

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(701): Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man. http://tfl.nu/tr3t

Replies (7) Good night (3082) Bad night (448)
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(559): View more from California

I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."

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(559): I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce." http://tfl.nu/n8hm

Replies (2) Good night (767) Bad night (472)

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