So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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