Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear

(1-847): View more from Illinois

Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat

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(248): View more from Michigan

the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.

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(205): View more from Alabama

So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick

(972): View more from Texas

please tell me you have proof of this

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(918): View more from Oklahoma

We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.

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(231): View more from Michigan

Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel

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