I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
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id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.