dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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