Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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