If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
