I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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