So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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