If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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