I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
