where does the pee come out of this thing
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
