Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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