My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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