there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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