Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
