My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
