Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
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just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Mom said you looked used
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i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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