Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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