I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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