Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
The dick lei will go down in squad history
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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