I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
worst night to have a conscience
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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