ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
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