Plan B is the new Plan A
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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