last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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