I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
